My name is Denise Sevier-Fries (nee Buchy). Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. Come here for some serious issues, but mainly just some cheeky fun; satire with the odd parody tossed in, and a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.

I am Canadian so expect a bit of politeness too. Sorry.


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Wednesday, July 7, 2021

THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO WTF? The Unbearbale Oddness of Being: Part 7

I have been off writing the world's next bestseller so, sorry...and glad to be back. By the way, my pen-name may or may not be Stephen King, JK Rowling or Jodie Picoult. 😁

So what utter nonsense have I been missing? Let me see.

1) Toilet Restaurants

I will forgo the obvious 'this is real, I shit you not' and just say I will NEVER eat at a crap restaurant like this.😏 Pun intended.

And now that I've gotten that out of my system, I want to try and wrap my head around anyone enjoying a meal in a Toilet Restaurant (click, or see clip below) .To be honest, the 10 minute clip that this link goes to is about 9 minutes too long for my stomach to handle. Just SEEING the menu is nauseating!

I wonder if this kind of theme stemmed from a spouse telling their better half 'You know I love your Butt Exploding Hot Chili dish, sweetheart, but I think I should eat it on the toilet..." and it took off from there? Once you decide to make a toilet restaurant, the theme of the  seats, menus and especially foods that looks like vomit, diarrhea, poop-logs,  etc...comes pretty easily. 

So... big win for creativity, bigger loss for human dignity....

2) Fido I, Fido II, Fido III, Fido IV and so on.

Regardless of where you stand on the ethics issues raised on cloning... anyone cloning their beloved pet once is cringeworthy enough, but twice? What, from the very bottom of my heart, the fuck?

Famed songstress and too wealthy for her own good dog lover, Barbara Streisand, admired by millions, and unknown to gazillions (of millennials, Gen X, Y, and Z...) cloned her beloved pet twice because, well, she must love her EXACT fur type and EXACT skeletal frame because otherwise, SHE ISNT THE SAME FUCKING DOG.

If I were her hubby, James Brolin, I'd hide my toothbrush and comb. 

3)  Porn Star Audition

You may disagree, but I can't think of any other reason why this guy was caught on camera licking a doorbell for 3 hours, except that he was trying to show his flexibility and endurance. Hence the caption. 

Although he could just be a realtor who really loves houses...I mean really loves houses!

4) Sick Egg Frying Skills

Bloody hell. This does NOTHING for my cooking confidence, meager as it is. Seriously, I can NOT crack an egg without digging for tiny bits of shells afterwards. 

Chinese chef kills it! Smooth style,  superior moves, class and charisma. WOW! This inspires me to go out there and...buy instant eggs. That's a thing, right?


5) Cat With Badass Bass Voice

Okay. I already know this was a fudged up clip meant to fool folks, so my WTF? is directed to anyone who actually thought this was real. And, apparently, there were  lot! Take a listen and tell me how stupid can you be to think this cat is Johnny Cash's reincarnation... because you just KNOW a clip with 29 million views, someone believed that!

6)  $38,000,000.00 Dirty Brush Bowl

A very small Chinese bowl that's function was to clean dirty calligraphy and paint brushes sold for 38 million dollars at Sotheby's. 

That's it. 

Nothing left to say but WTF? (and it's time to laser-focus my old eyes on small green bowls next garage sale).

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