OUTLANDER CROSSWORD PUZZLE: Printable (if you ss it, otherwise, probably not so much)

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ANSWERS!!'

 

OUTLANDER 112: DR. BLACK JACK DDS AND HIS ROOT (of all evil)

Black Jack Randall is a dentist.

And that explains a LOT.

  

The most reviled character since Voldemort has been hiding his white lab coat under his British Red Coat.

  

This is no wild accusation of a wine-soaked, middle-aged woman who was once married to a dentist and sees juxtapositions of her ex in every nasty character on the screen, painting them all with one bitter brush. In fact, in the spirit avoiding an ugly lawsuit, I will offer a disclaimer that my thoughts on this post are in any way connected to my ex. *I don’t want him to get a penny back from what my amazing lawyer settled for me. My opinions are generalized and point to no one person. Promise; cross my fingers; pinky swear. 

You see…I know a dentist when I see one. I was a dental assistant for over 5 years and a dentist’s wife who helped run the practice (and socialized with them) for 14 years so I can say with confidence that I am qualified to speak with some authority on the subject.

Like a Beauty Pageant contestant with a Class II Div I Malocclusion, I can spot a dentist in a crowd from a mile away.

Like the teeth above, dentists stand out. They cannot hide from me. Even if they are in a television set. I can smell the pungency of their v̶i̶c̶t̶i̶m̶'̶s̶ patients' fears radiate from their every pore. 

The unmistakeable aura of the Type A personality practically vibrated off of Jack Randall in this episode but it wasn’t until he took Jenny upstairs for her unwanted body cavity invasion (read: dental examine) did it hit me what his inner demon really was: A DDS a.k.a. Doctor of Dental Surgery or, as what readily comes to mind when thinking of BJR, a Demented Dick Squeezer. *he WAS doing a lot of dick squeezing in 112

Most people saw BJR’s finger, filthy with the innocent blood of her beaten and broken brother, probe Jenny’s mouth in a grotesque, sadistic kind of sexual foreplay, but I saw it as an exam. Here...let me show you:

                                            Open wide....

                                         ... checking the bite...oral tissue exam...

                                                    ...a diastema? Gum disease?

Looks pretty obvious once you know what to look for, right? I told you. 

A narcissistic sadist of wealth and position that is hated and feared, and has access to torture devices...and who is in charge and must be obeyed. BJR or a dentist? 

Exactly.

 

As a DA who has assisted dental surgeries on trauma victims from car accidents, I had to question the believability of the CTTF (Club To The Face) scene. True, said club was only a candle stick, but it was a mighty hefty one that looked big and solid enough to be used as Ian’s spare peg leg…

…and it should have, at the very least, left a wee mark on Dr. Black Jack’s face after such a pounding or given him a TMJ (TMD) problem. 

As it was, it looked like he is also an ancestor of The Thing of Marvel Comics Fantastic Four fame...

Not a single bump or a chip off the old noggin. No blood. Nada. And he acted like he never even felt it. Impressive? Or Novocaine.

Exactly.

I confess to not being up on the common dental practices in 1700 Scotland, but I wager that patients then, as now, regard their being taken to their dental chair, or out of it, much like the picture below. Or at least how it felt they were treated when they said they couldn’t pay.

That brings us to the root of all evil, the evil root. 

I have named Dr. Black Jack's penis Lil’ Nessie because it reminds me of another lizard-like creature in Scotland that is shy to rise in front of people and commands a wondrous worldwide fascination with its very existence. (#Penisgate) Big Nessie may be a long, green mysterious creature but Lil’ Nessie seems a fine, stocky pink fella with one eye for both the lads and lassies…in a 50 Shades of Flay, sadomasochistic kind of way. *I was going to say The Cock Ness Monster but thought it a little on the nose

Bypassing the obvious quips about avoiding a painful root c̶a̶r̶n̶a̶l̶  canal, and filling and drilling etc... I will say that BJR proves correct the stats that reveal dentistry as the profession having the highest rate of suicide, divorce and alcoholism. Dr. Black Jack has driven men to suicide, is divorced from all human emotions…

… and loves his S̶c̶o̶t̶s̶ Scotch.

And finally, yes...it is true. BJR has a very bad case of *gingervitis.

 

*Bragging rights to those who get this joke in relation to Outlander

**BONUS PICTURE**

Do you think the original Starz poster would have given too much away?

OUTLANDER: The Boobgate Scandal Examined

The Spanking Scene was one thing.

  
Boobgate is quite another.

We were prepared, in print, for the former scene, where Jamie Fraser punished his wife Claire for her dangerous disobedience by whipping her bare bottom with a belt. There are two opinions that have deeply divided the fan base into #TeamSpankingIsAbuseAndJamieIsABrute and #TeamThat’sTheWayTheyDidShitThenSoCalmTheFuckDown. Social media is abuzz with the debate. Personally, I am on Team #TTWTDSTSCTFD and thought Starz handled the scene well. *Yes, I actually said something positive about the Adaptation…please lift your hand and close your gaping mouth.

But Boobgate was not in any of the books and was unexpected. And it is causing another deep divide in the fan base. Boobgate, as pictured below, is when Jamie let his hand be placed on *LegHair’s boob and then left it there for a tad TOO long. (*sorry…I just bloody love the sound of LegHair in my head when writing it...can’t quit it).

             *Note the curved fingers in mid-squeeze. Oh Jamie...what have ye dun laddie?

                                                          For those in denial:

    And there was hand-caressing and kisslettes, 

don't forget.. 

                                             
                                            Then...

                                          He looks like that with Claire too, right?

Many are saying that Jamie is getting creepy now, or at least is not living up to the Dream that is Jamie Fraser…that he has a ‘chink in his armor’ *or armour? He is a Nicked Knight. A Hero Sandwich with a bite taken out (okay, I will stop now) and others are saying he is just an inexperienced newlywed kid who was tempted but was not truly unfaithful, and should be forgiven. Most are expressing each view quite passionately, because, believe me, Outlander fans are nothing if not Passionistas! *forgive the idiom but it had to be said *wink*

Unlike the Saintly BookJamie, TVJamie is rather flawed. Therein lies the debate: Was Jamie's persona forever damaged in the show because he seemed to desire LegHair and copped a feel? And indeed he DID! You can see how he gives a very quick squeeze (see gif above) and cups the top of the Offending Boobage before letting his hand linger…so yea…in most places, that could be called foreplay or even sexual assault. *OMG! I hope Starz doesn’t go there…a Highland CSI Crime Unit takes fingerprints off the creamy white chest of the vindictive and spurned LegHair and imprisons Jamie for Statutory Squeezing!

In the largest FaceBook Outlander fan forum (that I moderate) called 'Outlander Series FaceBook Group', there are lively discussions going on to whether Jamie was just an innocent who was being kind to a young girl and letting her down gently, or if he was just a jerk and not controlling himself like a decent husband should, and really doesn’t love Claire as deeply as he does in the books.

Well, I say there is a test to find out. 

Ask yourself this question:

“If the roles were reversed and a newly married woman held hands with a young man she knew was crushing on her, and allowed her hand to be guided to his newly exposed penis to gently squeeze it and let it linger for a while as he talked of his love and almost succeeded in kissing her…would THAT have been okay? Would you think her temptation and touchy/feely/squeezy/horndogginess decent or honorable…or her love for her husband very strong? Would you think her obvious lust just 'natural' and your good opinion of her unaltered?

If YES, then welcome to #TeamJamieIsOnlyHumanOkay? If NO, then welcome to its #TeamJamieIsAManWhore 

*I am #TeamQuitChangingTheBloodyCharactersPersonalitiesAndAddingFuckedUpScenes

Book adaptations are always hard and changes must be made...but NOT to the main protagonist's strongest character trait! BookJamie, who we truly adore, is gallant, trustworthy and chivalrous. Loyal. MADLY in love with Claire. He is indeed the King of Men! TVJamie is just average. Well, below average actually because newlyweds are usually still smitten/fresh enough to desire only their wives. And that is the problem in a nutshell. Average guys can cop a feel and walk away from temptation...provoked temptation at that. The Jamie's of the world are never tempted...even a little. They certainly dont do to a 16 yr old girl what the above gifs show. Later on, even in the brothel scenes in the book, does Jamie not really get tempted...just horny. He caresses nobody's hands sweetly, gives not one sexy, short-of-breath kisslette and does not enjoy a wee bit-o boobage with lusty fingers.

The next episode should be interesting, especially since the story can, apparently, ricochet off the page and into God knows where with the snap of the fingers! Maybe we’ll see Claire fall into another Standing Stone and end up aboard the Battlestar Galactica or married to a Cylon somewhere.

Who I hope is played by Tobias Menzies.

He’d be kickass even in a metal costume…

**Late additions that popped in my mind during OS group discussions of this post and E9: 

       Jamie holding LegHair's snow white boob seemed familiar somehow... Ah! now I remember...

                   Official Music Video For Episode #9: 
                    'You Can't Touch This' by MC Hammer!

WHOA!! Diana replied to this blog post on Twitter! She does not agree with the 'boob=penis theory' I have...that each is a sexual zone and therefore equal in DO NOT TOUCHINESS. Interesting...

We replied back and forth a bit but my final say to tweeters was: Breasts are a sexual part of a woman's body that give women 2 areas with equal import to 1 dick IMHO. 

 Debating book related topics is part of the fun of blogs and I thank Diana for her opinions and responses...it is a privilage to have her pick mine out for ANY reason. 

*smiles and munches on popcorn* 

This expresses my feelings a bit better and yes, I chose a flesh colored background *smile*: 

Last one...promise. *smirk*

Interesting views and reactions:

from Atomic1cflea

And a BRILLIANT quote from our group member who said it best, when told not to 'nit-pick' or complain etc...