Someone from a Denise Hate Group stalked me online for my pictures (old and new) and then made memes. Not all that clever, I agree, but I admit my daughter and I laughed pretty hard over the doggie bag one (and you will NOT be able to stop from laughing out loud as you see more of these, I promise you.)
But why laugh? This isn’t a funny subject.
True. But imagine if you will, a short, grey haired mother of 5 and grandmother of 3, sitting with her 15 year old and saying, " Your mother is being bullied. On Face Book."
The absurdity waylaid any other response.
But who would do such things? Who indeed. A bunch of pimply-faced teens with raging hormones whose STUPID switch was stuck on PLAY? As I have decided not to redact their already public faces and names (not from spite,but to make a full and open study and to prove that I am not lieing; I have used nothing not already online), you will see that no awkward teenie-boppers with bad teeth and worse attitudes are responsible, although their language and writing skills would suggest otherwise:
**all pictures can be enlarged by clicking on them**
Nazi Twat Waffle? Dumb Barf Bimbo. RITA SKEETER? Who said hanging around high school bathrooms was creepy and unproductive? There's Comedy Gold on those walls! *Okay, perhaps the raging hormones was spot on... although more perimenopausal than pubescent.
But let's move on. I will get back to WHO these people are in a minute. A little back-story first, so you can start your journey into never understanding how adult women can act like this and still walk upright and not slobber when they talk, and why there is a dark, age-blind river of meanness running through most Face Book groups and all social medias.
I was asked to be a moderator (aka administrator; aka admin) to a large Outlander Face Book group that I was part of (I don't want direct drama on our group so no specifics here). I accepted, as I was online a LOT with my writing and research. Why not? A bunch of (mostly) women in my age range...sounded fun.
Being a moderator of a large fan group on Face Book (FB) involves only 3 things: 1) enforcing the Rules of the Page Creator (PC) 2) Nipping negative discussions in the bud to prevent mini or major wars 3) enforcing the Rules of the PC...oh! and 4) enforcing the rules of the PC.
That’s it. Using your own discretion, you do as the PC asks, as he/she makes the Rules. If you or any member do not agree with them in any way, you are free to leave. It is not an actual country where Free Speech reigns or the rights of the members are protected by the Constitution, The Rock or Captain America. It’s a Face Book page. Not the USA or Canada. You don’t need citizenship papers to join a FB group.
*I am pretty sure this map had been tampered with...
A FB page/group is someone’s house and you are their guest. And their admin are their Security Guards. I was going to say Housekeepers but they don't throw rowdy guests out the door...and I am allergic to vacuuming.
Does that make all FB groups dictatorships? Yes, but only if you view a church or school as one as well…or any Home Depot, McDonalds or any place where they have rules of conduct. I am pretty sure you can’t stand up in the middle of a Dennys and piss in their planters or shit in the aisle of WalMart if the urge overtakes you. And if you start yelling about how much you are not having fun in a theater or a house party and hate being there, you will, without a doubt, be told to Fuck Off and Go Away. In fact, some burly guy in leather pants and a skull themed bandana might help you fuck off before you get a chance to grab your weed, which you were obviously smoking if you thought you could do or say whatever you please no matter where you are. Nobody is holding you back from leaving any disagreeable FB group. Another thing a dictatorship would do…hold you back and not let you leave. So yea…not buying the ‘dictatorship’ argument.
And because some see FB as a GOVERNMENTAL SYSTEM, no less!
It is interesting though that a group crying ‘Nazi dictatorship’, is itself blatantly racist. And Homophobic. The Hitler memes and pictures notwithstanding, the anti-German odor is strong in this Hate Group as is the stench of Gay Bashing:
So, that brings us to why a Hate Group was formed against me.
Simple answer: t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶x̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶r̶o̶u̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶h̶u̶s̶b̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶b̶o̶y̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶i̶n̶n̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶o̶r̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶d̶r̶i̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶.̶ I have banned members of the group and they are bitter and angry (and painfully undersexed…or at the very least, in need of a Snickers Bar. I know I have said it before but dammit! Betty White has all the answers!)
It is also discussed in that group, how I lie and steal others' ideas and call them my own. But besides swearing that I invented The #PocketJamieVibrator (only one because NO WAY the prototype is leaving my bathroom!) that is quite untrue. The truth they twist to paint me with a guilty brush is the Outlanderized Cartoons (a name I copyrighted) that I make on my blog and tout. They claim that I steal others cartoons and say they are mine. I will show you examples but, in short, I take any cartoon I find on the net, signed or not, and make it Outlander themed. Breathe some new life into them, if you will...Scottish life! They are very popular...
If present, I leave all ownership markings intact and just add my funny bits and my copyrighted title. On my blog, I have in large red letters, a disclaimer that clearly states that they are not my drawings and that any uncredited artist that sees his/her work, can contact me to be given credit, or to have it removed. That is fine by me. I am a photographer so credit due is very important to me as well. I would never dream of stealing anyone’s work.
Baseless accusations from insipid minds.
The Hate Group keeps changing its covers and softening its GROUP DESCRIPTION to try and avoid banning by FB and to sucker people into thinking it’s an innocent Outlander Group. I wonder how Diana Gabaldon will like having her wonderful series associated with this group.
Hmmm...Loverdove Pro...I mean Mandi: you delete negativity and block people who post it? Really? How dictator-like! I wonder how Jesus would feel about Hate Groups and deceit? *I never EVER look for things like this, who has the time...but many people like to send me helpful emails so I am as surprised as you kiddo. People in glass houses and all that...
OK...back to the 'Rules' of the group:
Here are the evolution of its covers and group descriptions:
I am well aware that by posting this group here, I may be shooting myself in the foot and gaining them members, but I am hoping for the opposite and have faith that humankind's inherent goodness will shine through and give hope to all victims that fighting back IS an option! (Plus, I have a fake nose and glasses and a one way ticket to a small island in Knahkusp should I be wrong).
So.. the main focus on this group is my banning record and why I have banned. *YAWN* First World Problems, right? SMH
Well, the truth is, I am blamed for all bannings, even though there are 2 admins who do so…me and PC. I apparently banned with ‘no reason’. Like I would randomly choose a name from the member's list and BANG! BAN HAMMER! Alrighty then.
One of our Rules is that attacking the admin on our group is an instant ban. SO, when someone joins a Hate Group (as a purely random example) that focuses on the admin of a fan group you are in, it is considered an insult/bash... and they are banned. It is assumed that you are there to bash that person. Why be there otherwise? It would be like going to a whorehouse and saying you are just there to have tea. Nice try. Guilt by association? Perhaps, but the Hate Group tag-team boot-fucks anyone who defends me, so it’s tit for tat I suppose.
Anyone can join any group they want otherwise…I am part of a few myself. Most members join at least 2 other groups and I have seen others be part of over 400 groups!
**NOTE: I have actually not been allowed to ban anyone joining the Hate Group as the PC felt it was his job, so he took it upon himself. He is a sweetheart…and not my grandson, lover or tied up in the basement of my house, as has been suggested in that group. At least, I don’t think so. I never go in my basement.
Obviously I am not the only focus of the group that bears my name with such pride (like pairing the name Fries with food was a stroke of genius usually associated with the likes of Einstein and the McCains)
That is how a Hate Group operates. With their Pack Mentality, they try to separate their victim from any defenders so they can attack without interference. We can see how effective Pack Mentality can be: teenagers being bullied is front page news, especially if they kill themselves and leave us all in shock over the loss of an innocent by such vile adolescent manipulation.
But adults? How bad can that be? They aren’t vulnerable kids after all…
True. But there are vulnerable and sensitive women (and men) out there who are in no less danger of being overcome by a sense of alienation and depression upon being targeted by a Hate Group. *sorry Haters, but I am no child nor am I vulnerable. Sorry to disappoint.
The Mean Girls of your teen years are now moms and grandmothers and they are back in fine form. Well, not fine form but perhaps that is part of their issues. Self- loathing leads to plain old loathing.
What kind of person JOINS a Hate Group? In fact...what IS a Hate Group?
I am NOT saying that my Hater Groupies are like this. They don’t look good in white and its hard to walk in sheets with heels so I really don't think so. But...
If you read this Psychology Today article The Seven-Stage Hate Model: The Psychopathology of Hate you will see how Hate Groups grow and thrive. Pay special attention to the bottom of the page under UNIVERSAL APPLICATION. Wow. I wish I hadn't ditched most of my Psych classes in college for a coffee and a smoke at Bob's Bar and Grill.
Try to imagine the pitiable life a person must have if they create and/or join a group whose main purpose is to attack a stranger, ONLY because they were banned from a fan page. These aren’t bad-to-the-core women who are writing from prison, or anyone I was previously married to...but everyday kind of people like teachers, nurses, moms and grandmothers, professors, doctors, managers, clerks, Independent Consultants at Pink Zebra, lawyers etc…every conceivable walk of life. This sickness knows no age barrier, wealth bracket nor does it target any particular level of education. Every demographic is represented and the common denominator is that ‘pack mentality’: the propensity to follow the leader(s), hoping to feel accepted, included, appreciated and understood. Things they obviously do not get in the Real World.
And let’s face it…it can be a huge adrenaline rush for a woman who sees her mid-to-last leg in life as a Grand Disappointment and Inescapable Trap, to stalk someone online, make fake identities and re-join forums they are banned from so they can quietly suck their thumb in the corner and ‘lurk’, watching all the other kids having fun in the sandbox while they quiver nervously, hoping the smell of urine doesn’t give them away as they pee just a little from their unbearable excitement. They feel empowered…007 Agents of Stealth or wait…what was that word? Ah! I remember…like a ‘ghost’. *snort*
Why do I get this Master of Disguise's picture to mind all of the sudden?
Oh my! Using hubby's account to troll?
*I was just informed that the numbers of the group are a little skewed: more than half of their members joined at least twice! Some 4 times. I guess that makes 15 people and a trained monkey as their entire membership... SMH.
1) Babs JUST can't get rid of me...
I have a feeling thosewere only 2 of many people living under that skin. *shiver* I feel rather stupid for being so nice to her now... *sigh*
2) Cathy is eloquent reminiscing about days gone by to DG:
Cathy is less than eloquent IN the 'fun' days gone by: *I had only talked to her once before and in another group I joined, she was bragging how she tried and succeeded in getting booted off a group by telling off a newbie. That was me. I quit her group immediately. I am not confortable with the C word...ever. Showing my age I guess...and intelligence.
3) Linda, The Perpetual Victim:
*This is the post she rudely commented on after I thought she and I were 'friends'. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Perhaps I was oversensitive? Maybe, but I lost my faith in her good will and I blocked her to have done with it. But she is creepily ever-present. I am beginning to put an extra place setting at the table for her...
Then there is this woman. The funny thing is, in my PM to Diana Gabaldon where I call out 3 people who had been thumping on me in her re-post of my article Franklander or was it 15 Things You Didn't Know About Outlander...kinda? Ah well, in one of those (and other places), I mentioned an Amy MacKenzie. There are dozens of Amy MacKenzies on FB and I never knew there was an 'Amy Catherine MacKenzie'. Had I meant her, I would have written her full name so it would stand out. I guess she outed herself then? *raises eyebrows and smirks* Nevertheless, these hypocritical tidbits prove her to be quite the dirty deleter so I suppose it wasn't all for naught.
And finally, and most painfully, as it concerns an editor and author, this next Group Member proves to be arrogant and ignorant towards self-published authors like me, who she sees as floundering in the shallow end of the ink well. *and there is NO way I was ever offered free editing. Pffft! She wanted to sell her services and I simply could not afford it...as most SP authors can't. But thank goodness I didn't get her, bearing in mind the true colors her posts reveal:
No worries...your secret is safe with us! She did have help baiting me though, so I guess she is used to hunting in a Pack.
The Hate Group defiantly lacks consistency and if there is one thing hate in my Haters, is inconsistency: they beat me up for schlepping my books on the forum (which I rarely do) and my blog (which I do all the time) say that is shameful self-promotion and should NEVER be allowed!
But Mrs. Graham-Sawchyn and I both know that all writers are AW's (attention whores)...it's called promoting. No attention = no sales. And SP authors like me have to shout louder and more desperately because we have no agents or publishing houses to do it for us. And the kicker is *drum roll* this writer blasted our forum with her book promotions mercilessly! Can we spell the hippocrit? Hmmm, maybe not. Guess I need an editor. Wish I knew a good one.
These are representative of about 24 million similar posts over the last 2 years on our forum:
I have read that the need to skulk around and pop in and out of attack groups, or packs, is indicative of early onset Assholiness, more prevalent in females dogs though and those living in Canada. Odd but true. I swear.
There are a LOT more people and I could post a hundred screen shots but I think this dissection of a Hate Group is thorough enough. Almost...
I was actually keen to ignore this Hate Group and walk away from its vomitus spewings, but 2 members crossed a line and not-so-veiled physical threats pulled me back and made it a case for the police. Like I said, I am not a vulnerable child. Although very disturbing and creepy, I could ignore them posting my picture and pictures of my family on their group, and even their admin Tina Eddy Caywood posting my workplace and home pictures ans address on the group page (which I will not post here for obvious reasons) and even their rude discussions of my children…but these two comments (and others) made the police take note... and take names and phone numbers and more... :
I was impressed by their quick work to investigate and their determination that long distances from the USA and the inability of these women to read simple traffic signs, would keep me safe. Unfortunately, the RCMP in Canada often look like this (and they both kinda look like the moustachioed dude), so I think I’ll update my Will anyway. Just in case:
Why, you may be asking yourself, doesn't she go to Face Book and complain?
Short answer: If Face Book were a hospital then I'd be here:
That’s all there is to say about that.
In closing, I think it interesting as a study of Human Nature that all this is about to be exposed because, as fate would have it, our schools and media spend a lot of time on the subject of bullying, and my daughter’s Social’s teacher has asked if she could make a slideshow presentation of this blog piece for her Planning Class. Her school has auditorium-filled presentations, professional speakers etc…and they have found my expose highly educational. Baby Boomer Bullying (you heard it here first!): The Ugly Underbelly of Face Book Fan Groups of the Geriatric Kind. Sounds like a Speilberg movie.
My generation is now computer savvy, or at least becoming so quickly, and the dark and insidious nature of anonymous, uninhibited online personas is hitting my age demographic like shot of Viagra. There is a tsunami of Mid-Late Life Angst that is finding a place to feed and fester and it will soon become a norm that not only will schools have professionals dealing with online abuse, bullying and preventable tragedies, but adult women’s centers, doctors’ offices and let’s face it, beauty salons around the world!
*and yes, if Face Book was my hairdresser, this is where I'd be waiting:
**IF YOU ARE, OR HAVE BEEN A VICTIM OF FACE BOOK BULLYING OR ATTACK GROUPS, FEEL FREE TO COMMENT HERE. I MODERATE COMMENTS. SOMETIMES IT FEELS GOOD JUST TO WRITE IT DOWN AND GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST. I DO NOT HAVE TO POST YOUR COMMENT IF YOU ASK ME NOT TO. Please try not to name full names as yours will be the only point of view here and not really fair. I was able to do so as I have the proof that they did they same to me...you can't...not here anyways. I am not a psychologist but I know how to listen. I wish you well.