WHY THIS BLOG?

I AM PARCA'S CHOSEN:
Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. I deal with the odd serious issue but for the most part, my posts are just some cheeky fun, reviews of favorite shows, and true stories that will make you laugh out loud (or run screaming...I don't know you well enough to predict your behavior). You'll find satire with the odd parody tossed in....and most definitely a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.

I am Canadian so expect a bit of politeness too. Sorry.

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DENISE ON AMAZON
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4) My Photo-Art Youtube Trailer is here too.

5) My old monthly column: The Lighter Side of Self Publishing
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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

THE CON ARTIST

If a child is being too quiet, they are up to no good.

Truer words were never spoken.

While renovating our bedroom, we realized we hadn’t heard a peep from our youngest daughter Katharina (who was just over 3 years old at the time) for over 15 minutes. I had set her up with an easel, paper and paints in her bedroom just down the hallway and told her to create a masterpiece for us while we were busy tearing down a wall.

Quietly peeking into her room to see what she was up to, I was startled to see that she had stripped off all her clothes and was happily painting, wearing nothing but  a pair of sparkly, ruby red dress shoes that were too small on her. She must have dug them up from her closet for she hadn’t worn them for a long time.

As her back was towards the door, she hadn't seen me, so I tiptoed back to get Peter and when we giggled at the priceless scene in front of us, she whirled around in surprise and quickly hid her left hand behind her back.

Looking extremely sheepish, it took some cajoling to get her to show us her hand. With a wary half-smile, she finally lifted it up to us ... and it was completely red!

Denise: (laughing) You painted you hand!

Katharina: I’m finger painting!

Denise: But you do know you shouldn’t paint yourself, honey...and why did you take off all your clothes?

Katharina: (embarrassed) I pee my pants.

Denise: Ah! I see. Well accidents happen once in a while, but you don’t have to take off all your clothes! And why are you wearing those shoes? They don’t fit you anymore!

Katharina: (averts eyes; dead silence)

Denise: Now take them off and I’ll get you some clean clothes and your slippers.

Katharina: No!

A little perplexed, I tried to talk her out of her shoes, but she adamantly refused. It was time to get sneaky. Ya don’t mess with Mama.

I cheerfully told her that since she had had an ‘accident' and needed to wash her painted hand right away, she might as well have an early bath. Instantly thrilled, she shrieked and ran as fast as she could to her bathroom! Bathtime was the ultimate funtime in her small world.

As the water ran and she threw in her bath toys, I casually reminded her to take off her shoes before getting in the tub. She quickly pulled them off and immediately realized her mistake. Looking down at her horror-stricken face, I glanced down further and saw two perfectly green feet!

That was why she had crammed on the first shoes she could find in her closet! Too small or not, she was hiding the evidence. A 3 year old shyster! Maybe she’d grow up to be a lawyer.

Now we never say anyone is caught red-handed, but green-footed!