WHY THIS BLOG?

I AM PARCA'S CHOSEN:
Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. I deal with the odd serious issue but for the most part, my posts are just some cheeky fun, reviews of favorite shows, and true stories that will make you laugh out loud (or run screaming...I don't know you well enough to predict your behavior). You'll find satire with the odd parody tossed in....and most definitely a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.

I am Canadian so expect a bit of politeness too. Sorry.

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DENISE ON AMAZON
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Thursday, May 19, 2011

WHAT?

My amazingly sweet mother passed away on February 23, 2011 and grief has so clouded the joy I usually find in life that I haven’t been able to even think of Blogging…but the giggles are slowly coming back. And it seems fitting that my Mom is the reason for this. How can I think of her without remembering one particular conversation we had just a short while ago…


 Mom turned 85 years old in 2010 and although it was progressively difficult to speak to her on the phone (she 'lost' her dreaded hearing-aid fairly often), I phoned her about three times a week anyways. She was in Manitoba and I was on the coast of British Columbia and it was a 60+ hour drive there and back… a torturous journey I couldn’t manage too often. There were too many years in-between visits and I missed her a lot.

Once I called her after having already spoken to her the previous day, and this was how our conversation (and I use the term loosely here) went:

MOM: Hello?

DENISE: Hi Mom! It’s Denise. (*she had 6 children and we all sound similar, so introducing ourselves from the get-go was always advisable)

MOM: Who?

DENISE (louder): Denise! Your favorite daughter! (*my standard line that she always scoffed at; I knew she would recognize that, if not actually me.)

MOM (laughing): Deneezy? You again? You’re just like a little mouse peeking around the corner all the time! I can’t get rid of you!

DENISE (being silly): I’m just here for the cheese!

PREGNANT PAUSE

MOM: What cheese?

DENISE (louder): You said I was a little mouse and I said I was just there for the cheese!

MOM: What mouse?

DENISE (much louder): You called me a little mouse…

MOM (indignantly): A mouse? We don’t have a mouse in the house? Who told you that?

DENISE (feeling like she’s in a ‘Who’s On First?’ comedy sketch): I didn’t say you had a mouse, I said you called me a mouse, and I said I only wanted the cheese…

PREGNANT PAUSE #2

MOM (exasperated): I don’t understand what you mean.

DENISE (very loud): Mom...never mind, I was just joking. There is no mouse.

PREGNANT PAUSE #3

MOM (putting the phone down and calling out to my brother who was in the next room): Ken! Come find out what the hell Deneezy is talking about. I don’t know why, but she thinks we have mice…

KEN: What's going on?

DENISE (explains the entire scenario and they howl with laughter): Okay…now can you please explain to Mom what I said?

KEN (shouting): Mom! You didn’t tell me you had a mouse in the house! I’m leaving!


It was always a crap-shoot to whether or not Mom was wearing her hearing-aid when I called, and we had many a classic conversation like the one above. Frustrating? You bet. Maddening? Sometimes. But I tell you, I would give anything to hear her not-hearing me just one more time…