WHY THIS BLOG?

I AM PARCA'S CHOSEN:
Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. I deal with the odd serious issue but for the most part, my posts are just some cheeky fun, reviews of favorite shows, and true stories that will make you laugh out loud (or run screaming...I don't know you well enough to predict your behavior). You'll find satire with the odd parody tossed in....and most definitely a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.

I am Canadian so expect a bit of politeness too. Sorry.

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Friday, May 29, 2015

DIARY OF A GREY'S ANATOMY VIRGIN *there be spoilers ahead!


Why doesn’t Grey’s come with a warning label?

Aren’t all hazardous products legally required to warn consumers of any dangers?
  
What dangers? Thanks for asking. I’m talking about my having spent the last 2 weeks binge watching Grey’s Anatomy, and now my eyes hurt from crying, my cheeks ache from smiling and my heart is in perpetual arrhythmia from experiencing the continual back and forth of Heart-Breaking Sadness to Faith Restoring Joy...normally shown in the space of a few seconds and repeated unevenly throughout every episode. Who can stand that kind of punishment? Even my statue of the Virgin Mary weeps 10 minutes into every show and it’s a piece of plastic on a key chain. Have long-time fans all turned into miniature Cristinas? Is that how they toughened up to go the distance? Maybe THAT should be on the label too.


Tonight, I reached critical mass. I now have acquired the minimum amount of raw unreasonable/gullible emotion required to maintain my GA Obsession. 
  
Tonight, S8Ep 10. Henry died.

And something snapped.
  
I admit to being captivated early in S1 Ep1 with the strong female characters on the show and although I felt rather sad that ugly women couldn’t make it into medicine anymore, the mesmerizing waves of Derek’s Luxurious Locks locked me into the show for good. I hated when both McDreamy and McSteamy were on the screen at the same time...
 

...because each of my eyes set on one face and made me look like I had escaped from the circus.

 

The show is well written, finely acted, fast-paced and exciting…and like a good book, bloody hard to out down, but not unlike George RR Martin's Game of Thrones, it’s the Fear Factor that keeps me coming back. 

A habit I have from raising my 5 kids is having a  tissue tucked in my bra for quick nose/chocolate-chin wiping , but watching GA, people I like die so often that one tissue just won't do.

 

There is no Red Wedding so far (although The Shooter episode tried) but the Deaths of everyone I fall in love with draws me in with a morbid curiosity that leaves me aghast and my family more than a little concerned

I will mention The Biggies, but cannot include Derek Shepherd's death. I am not there yet and am SO pissed that I hadn’t begun my binge watching earlier so I could have been all caught up and in sync with my fellow GA Family to share their grief and horror. As it is, my heart is only half way to my throat and will not fully engage and choke me with emotion until I finally hit the finale of Season 11. I am not sure of any of the details as I have avoided the news and averted my eyes like a nun in a dildo factory, so I hope to be as ignorant as possible when I get there. *I was shocked and confused in Season 5 when the opening scene in episode 1 was Derek dead on the table, Bailey and Sloan slouched in defeat as Meredith screamed his name and I thought WTF? He dies twice? Season 5 and 11? But then it was clear that it was a dream sequence and not real and well…fuck you to whoever thought of that scene. Lucky for me I have defibrillators near my TV.


 

For The Biggies sans Derek, the first was George. 

I like to think I am fairly astute and I can guess the secrets and outcomes of most movies, but damn if his heroic death didn’t throw me a curve ball! Totally unexpected and I honestly had to rewind Meredith’s reaction when she realized who John Doe,was three times before it really sunk it. 007 will never be anything but George O’Malley to me ever again. Screw Sean Connery. George is The Man. I felt such anguish. I cried like a politician showing his patriotism at a press conference. 


Then came Denny. I don’t know even know what to say. I wanted him to live so badly that when they brought him back as Meredith's DAS (Death Avoidance Sequence) I left the writers in the show all my money in my Will. He was perfection for that role. Utter perfection. Then his new heart just stopped. Izzy missed by seconds and he died alone. I cried like Donald Trump’s hairdresser.



And finally, Henry. From the moment he told Teddy his life story and how he was always sick and she was his only friend, I adopted him like beaten puppy from the pound and knew...just KNEW he was going to go to med school and be the next McHottie on Staff at Seattle Grace Mercy West (which oddly sounds like what like Kanye and Kim will name their next kid. *grin*). But no…the last thread that was holding my fragile heart in place broke with his death and forced me to blog out the pain. I cried like Snape holding Lily.

 
I’ve wiped my tears and will carry on tonight with another 4 or 5 episodes, but I admit, closing in on Derek’s death may need Extraordinary Measures, if Extraordinary Measures means barrel of wine. I just know I’ll cry like Meredith in Season 5 when he died the first time…kinda.






Oh...and here are:
'20 Things I Noted' on this, the first leg of my GA binge:


1)      As a newbie, I was surprised to see that it was 'Seattle Grace Hospita'l. From the few things I had heard of the show, I had understood it to be ‘Greys Hospital’. Say it out loud: Greys. Grace. See what I mean? Totally confused me the first episode. I thought the hospital was named after Ellis Grey. *sigh*

2)      If hospitals are really run like that, and so many doctors are that insecure and nervous, I will perform my own tracheotomy and amputate my own arm. Thank you.

3)      Meredith has crooked teeth and a speech impediment but still looks gorgeous and I would sell my lungs and my children to look like her.

4)      Cristina’s character is played by a Canadian and she doesn’t even wear a Maple Leaf anywhere on her scrubs.
 


5)      George needs approximately 6 hours to spit out one line.

6)      Derek should be renamed McOkay. ‘Okay’ being the only word he’s said in 8 seasons.*has anyone ever counted?

7)      I had read somewhere that an actress on the show had turned diva and mistakenly thought it was Sandra Oh. Blew me away when Izzy was cut. But it made me happy. Good choice.

 8) Derek inspired:

9)    Owen’s hair went from Carrot Cake to Sunflower overnight and I wonder which is natural.

10)    They made The Chief Drunk Dance in the bar. I cringed.

11)   Meredith’s hair hasn’t changed once in 11 years but Izzy and George are tied for most styles and lengths, although George’s Hobbit Hair was the most fascinating.

 


12)   Bailey, despite being no taller than an Ewok and is called ‘The Nazi’, has 2 Amazonian drop-dead gorgeous Sex Gods dragging her to the Emergency Screwing Room every chance they get.

13)   EVERYONE except the Chief and Adele are doing the nasty in that room and even THEN, The Chief and Ellis Grey christened that bed a few horny decades earlier. *only the ambulance attendants and the Hospital Board Members haven’t had sex in that room but there are still a few seasons to go…so who knows?

14)   The opening credits are cityscapes and the ferry? How nice.
BUT, the tinkley opening tune haunts my every dream and if I could whistle, I would be whistling it right now.

15)   Karev’s personality. One minute sweet and kind and the next Major Douche of the Douche Patrol. I like complex people but hell, just rename him Dr. Jekyll and be done with it.
 

16)   Mark Sloan is a Ken Doll.
 

17)   Callie annoyed the shit out of me few seasons but her amazing singing (as well as Owen’s and Baileys ect.. in the BEST episode EVER)


 redeemed any flaws I may have assigned her and I adore her now. I would buy their album any day. I am SO going to have to see if there is one. *Kevin McKidd in Topsey Turvey was my first intro to him on screen and I fell for him then. Hard. Happy to see his voice has matured like fine wine and is still great. Mad about the Man.)




18)   Sam and Dean Winchester didn’t come to see their dad in the hospital. Not once. That sucked. *although having Izzy as a mom would have been ‘hard’ for Dean though. *snicker* Denny (John Winchester) has kicked me in the guts with a sad death scene before but to be honest, I didn't even remember who he was while watching GA. Good thing. It would have weirded me out.


 

19) When I die I want to be buried in Burke's chin dimple.
 
 20) Cristina Yang inspired.
There are actually about 500 more things worth noting but I have been away from the TV for about an hour now and I am suffering withdrawal so I have to write a note to my husband telling him where I keep the checks, text my daughter that she better remember to change the cat poop and kiss the dog goodbye, because I am taking my computer and a case of Cape Ruby into my Woman Cave and staying there until I have survived S11Ep24 and recovered.

I am old and my days are numbered. I will NOT sleep again until I am caught up to all the shows...the risk is too great and I refuse to die not knowing what happens...


 I knew you all would understand.