THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO WTF?: The Unbearable Oddness of Being Part 5

Humans.

Ya gotta love'm. Here are some reasons why we are so interesting (or not):

1) CANADA'S CRAZY FROZEN HAIR COMPETITION

As a fellow Canadian, there really isn't all that much to say except, WTF, eh?

2) INTERNET ENABLED DOLLS: PERV PLAYGROUND

The opening lines of this article are all you need to know before you say WTF? and whack the shit out of that doll with a sharp axe and torch it with your Bic:

     "There's a toy in your daughter's bed that is taking in your nighttime stories, transmitting her every giggle, listening to her every breath.

And possibly talking back to her."

Modern technology...yes, the dark side just got a whole lot darker.

*see the whole article here: If your child has this doll....

3) DOUBLE BUBBLE TROUBLE

Thirty-five years (yes, 35) after a man killed the mother of his two children, DNA taken from the wad of gum he chewed to secure the lock in the room he used to dump the body proved he was the murder.

Wtf? Are you telling me that old dried spit can convict a man after 3 decades? Well holyshitballsMcGuyver! Gotta love modern technology! *high fives science*

CHEWING GUM CAPER: CLICK HERE TO SEE SLIDESHOW

4) KYRIE IRVING BELIEVES THE EARTH IS FLAT

Basketball dude thinks only balls are round and the earth is flat... and it makes headline news? WTF? Don't know who he is or what he's smoking (or in this case, what paint he's sniffing) but 

a) who the fuck cares and

b) who the fuck cares.

Maybe he will jump off the edge someday. THAT would be news.

slideshow and story: here

5) SNUGGIES TAKEN TO COURT

Are Snuggies clothes or a blanket? Apparently it is question so important it had to be settled in court. Leave the crime and social injustices on the back burner and get to the bottom of REAL issues! WTF are Snuggies? Gotta be some company trying to dodge taxes, I guess. Too disgusted to finish the piece...

6) WOMAN GETS DIVA-COOK NOTE ON PIZZA

This is reported as a light piece but all I could think of was that poor woman in stunned disbelief: "WTF? I ordered supper and was looking forward to eating and watching my favorite show in 10 minutes and BANG! some snobby fucktard Chef-wannabe ruins my night." *breaks down sobbing*

Over-reaction? Perhaps. But WTF is up with this Sauce Jockey pretending to be such a connoisseur of fine foods that he can't lower himself to such a level as to destroy his work of edible art with ...GASP!...pineapples! I would be beyond pissed.

*facepalm*

7) HUGH GRANT'S DOPPLEGANGER

I happened upon an moldie oldie song from my youth on YouTube and thought 'Man, I LOVE this song but who sang it again?' Like a lot of kids in my day, radios were the thing and who had a color TV or pictures of our favorite groups? Apparently not I.

SO...seeing Tommy James & The Shondells for the first time singing 'Crimson and Clover' blew me away, but not because of the great memories, but because Tommy must be Hugh Grant's grandpa.

Enjoy the clip and my 'WTF? Dat you Hugh?' moment!

You see it?↓

CLIP

That's it for now...back soon with more of my more interesting WTF? moments. Lord knows they are easy to find. In fact, they find ME.

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THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO WTF?: The Unbearable Oddness of Being *PART 2- Toilet Paper Commercials

I'm not sure if I am happy or sad that I can continue this WTF? series of posts because on one hand, it's fun to write about things that make you go WTF?, but on the other hand, seriously...WTF?

In any case: Round 2...and believe me, this was far too easy to compile and I had to limit myself to only 8:

TOILET PAPER COMMERCIALS:

MAJOR 'WTF?' MOMENTS

1) POOPURRI.COM (a timely example) EVEN SANTA POOPS
    Don't they have time limits for crap commercials? Seriously, this was long enough for a mini series. And those poor little actress girls? I hope they sue their parents...and agents. WTF?

2) SQUATTY POTTY: This Unicorn Changed the Way I Poop
     Okay, technically, this is NOT toilet paper related till the very end, but I was so inexplicably mesmerized by the sheer WTFuckiness of this commercial, I had to include it. The worst part? Again...the kids. Where the hell is Social Services when you need them? *sigh* There goes my ice cream cravings, right down the toile...never mind.

3) QUILTED NORTHERN: LITTLE MISS PUFFYTAIL
     Many thanks, QN, for creeping me out so much with this commercial that right after I shouted WTF? I ran to my bathrooms...all 3 of them, and took out any inanimate object with eyes. And any picture with things with eyes...people, dogs, potatoes...whatever.

4) ROYALE VELOUR

    
     This made me go WTF? because, as a mother of 5 kids who always had friends coming over, I not only would have called the parents of this toilet paper hound to set up a direct deposit banking account for them to pay me for the miles of toilet paper their kid was using on my dime, I would have called Dr. Phil. And not for me.
  

5) CHARMIN: THE SECRET TO CLEAN UNDERWEAR

    
     WTF? There're kids who wear their underwear only once before tossing them onto the floor next to the laundry basket? I needed to pry them off my kids with a crow bar and even then they would just turn them inside out and put them back on for another week.


6) VINTAGE CHARMIN: 1960

     What if I told you that 'Mr. Whipple', the oddball old man who can't control his need to squeeze the 'charmin' was really a convicted sexual predator who was arrested a record number of 104 times in a 3 month period for going up to women and squeezing their breasts in public?

  
     I wouldn't tell you that, because I just made it up, but the fact that he TOTALLY looks like someone who would do that it makes me say WTF? is wrong with the casting director who hired him. Well, I guess it could be worse...Mr. Whipple could have been Mr. Whipitout...

7) PUREX

    

     Yes, I know there are worse things to complain about but seriously, I was a little offended for the fellas with this one. "Women like to touch..." WTF? What about men? They only smell? Taste? Hear? They don't possess this sense, so that's why they use sandpaper to wipe their ass?

     Sorry Purex, but propagating the ageless and typically negative connotation that men are just insensitive and 'out of touch' is not helping anyone. Especially men, who very much like to touch. Proof, you ask? Sure.

Touch Football.

There ya go.

8) This next commercial is SO stupid, they won't even put it on YouTube (I tried to find it... nada!)
     Briefly, it's a mom in her kitchen who gets a text message from her young son who is out playing baseball, and she smiles and says 'Oh, Buddy..." and then grabs a roll of TP and rushes down to the field. The public bathroom is surrounded by bored teammates in minor league baseball uniforms waiting for their friend to hurry up so they can resume the game. Mom passes the TP roll to a little hand that reaches out from the stall for his personal roll of buttbuffer and she smiles apologetically to the team.

     There is SO much wrong with this ad for entitled children suffering from Affluenza, and the mom who obviously has a sever case of PSS (Parental Self-imposed Slavery), that there isn't enough room in cyberspace for me to fit it all into words, so let it suffice for me to say WTF?
*if anyone finds that damn commercial, please post me a link in the comments section...if you are still able to move after the shock of watching it...

**BONUS VIDEO: HOWIE MANDEL TOILET PAPER PRANK
    With over 18 million views this made me say WTF? when Howie thinks this is vandalism. Seriously Howie? Some local teenagers are going to rent a massive truck, crash a gated community and spend approx. 10 million dollars on asswipe just to cause you angst? I love Howie but come on...
    
    But I DID have a good laugh when a chunk of TP sticks to his shoe. Watch for it. Classic.

Question: what if it had rained?

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That's all for now...stay tuned for Part 3, whatever that may be. Thanks for popping by and letting me vent. Your community is now safe again.

READ 'WTF? PART 1' (CLICK HERE)