WHY THIS BLOG?

I AM PARCA'S CHOSEN:
Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. I deal with the odd serious issue but for the most part, my posts are just some cheeky fun, reviews of favorite shows, and true stories that will make you laugh out loud (or run screaming...I don't know you well enough to predict your behavior). You'll find satire with the odd parody tossed in....and most definitely a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.

I am Canadian so expect a bit of politeness too. Sorry.

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Sunday, April 3, 2016

5 OUTLANDER S2 CHANGES THAT WILL OUTRAGE FANS! *verified by Diana Gabaldon, Ron Moore, The Pope and Elvis



1) ANOTHER TIME TRAVELER COMES IN and MURTAGH GOES! 

While the book has no such occurrence, S2 will see newbie Time Traveller Marvin ‘Teddy Bear’ Lambert (seen here wearing jeans, a hoodie and a baseball cap) materialize out of thin air right in front of Claire as they just arrive in Paris. Marvin is a newly created character, a future ancestor of Claire’s, who reads about her adventures in a comic book in the year 2098 and buys a ticket from the groundbreaking ‘Ancestors Я Us’ Travel Agency to travel back in time to meet her. He is the spitting image of Claire’s Uncle Lamb and she takes to him right away. Marvin (played by actor James Smyrna) replaces Murtagh Fraser, played by actor Duncan Lacroix, who, we are told, fell in love with his Sword Dance instructor from Season 1 and left the show to co-run a dance studio in Sausalito, California. The Murtagh character is killed off in the first scene, off camera, as Jamie is seen leaning down a well screaming “Murtagh! Nooooooooo!”


2) FRANK RETURNS AND DUELS WITH JAMIE  

Frank learns the secrets of Time Travel and zips over to Paris where he challenges Jamie to a duel for Claire. This is a shot of him during that To-The-Death fight. *He is wearing clothes stolen from a laundry line so he could 'blend in'.

I know it looks like Black Jack. It isn’t. 

It’s Frank. (a.k.a.: Fraaaaaaaaaank!)

  
3) ‘YOUNG FERGUS’ IS REALLY DIANE KEATON
  
Starz wanted to hire new talent for the role of Young Fergus but legendary actress Diane Keaton (see inset), who is a massive fan of Outlander, begged in on the show, and Ron Moore could not say no. Using the same technology and wizard-like Make-Up Team from Starz that will be aging Claire and Jamie decades, making them the sexiest and horniest Sexagenarians in the annals of historical fictiondom, the reverse was used to transform Diane Keaton into a young boy. The picture above shows how amazing the end product is. 

Starz is trying to condense the process into a liquid form to sell in the open market (working name: Youth Juice), which will, without doubt, make them very rich. In the meanwhile, we must rely on the ‘youth juice’ sometimes called Vodka, to replicate that ever-so-fleeting moment of thinking we look young again.

*Note: Ms Keaton is being credited as ‘Romann Berrux’, as her appearance was an unpaid cameo played for fun.


4) THEN THERE'S THE  LEMON EPISODE

In what many in the industry are calling the most ambitious and bold product placement contract ever made, Outlander Starz created and filmed an entire episode around the sourgasmic lemon candy from Japan called: Nobel Super Lemon. To honor the contract, Starz had to film all the actors eating an entire bag of NSL at some given point. Jamie, for example, popped only 2 small pieces for this scene…so one can assume the entire cast was well puckered up by the end of the day. It is rumored that forklifts by the dozen rolled in pallets loaded with bricks of salt, and countless cases of tequila were shipped in by the truckload to help ease the lemon overload on set. It will become a 'Where's Waldo?' type at-home game, we assume, to find where the 482 packets of these gobslobbering, tongue shriveling treats are placed in the scenes. Some, obviously, will be obvious.

Production was halted for 3 days after this episode, ‘poor weather’ being given as the reason.


5) CLAIRE HAS A COO BABY


In an attempt to steal the audience from the crazy-popular HBO hit Game of Thrones, Starz has set up a Battle of The Red Ladies. Fans of GoT will know the story behind Melisandre, The Red Lady who births an evil assassin, better known as Smoke Baby or Vag Demon. It is an eyeball-numbing scene that had therapists and exorcists rubbing their hands with glee for months…and Starz wants a piece of that youtube-viral attention. It is said that Claire gives birth in Season 2 to a shaggy Highland coo-like creature complete with wild red hair and a set of working bagpipes that it uses to communicate. Without spoiling the entire scene, let’s just say that Melisandre’s birth was like a sunny day at the beach next to Claire’s ear-busting labor... and Smoke Baby can in NO-way, NO-how fill a diaper like Coo Baby can. Nuff said.
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If you believe any of this: Bravo! The world is a more interesting place with you in it. Truly.

14 comments:

  1. Boy I was ready to get outraged! Good on you for messin wit my head! 😂

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    1. Mission accomplished then Debbie! Happy to pass along some smiles... :)

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  2. haha, good one ;) thanks for the laugh :D

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  3. Dang it!! I was really looking forward to 2098 guy!! 😅

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    1. I hear ya Unknown...I hear ya. I kinda liked Teddy Bear Lambert too...

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  4. Brilliant... Made my Monday with a hearty chuckle....TY:)

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    1. It was my pleasure PoetryJax...my pleasure in deed. :)

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  5. I was thinking "WHAT THE HECK!" Thanks for the disclaimer. I feel better now. :)

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    1. Cully Lemon: I am glad you feel better. :)

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  6. You had me going for a moment. I was thinking "what the heck, this can't be real. Thanks for the disclaimer, I feel better now. :)

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    1. Thanks Cully Lemon: I hope you believed me right down to where Claire births a wild Scottish cow. *wink*

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I really do appreciate you reading and perhaps sharing my blog pieces and hoped you enjoyed them. Leave a comment if you like and I will reply asap. *NOTE: I have strong opinions and will gladly respond to respectful debate or disagreement, but too many people use blogs as a platform for their insanity and hate, so be aware that my moderator will not allow Haters to spread their hate and I personally only see comments, good or bad, that are not rude.