One would think a sweet little dog like Bouton would have
no secrets.
Think again.
1) BOUTON COMES FROM A FAMOUS ACTING FAMILY OF HOLLYWOOD
ROYALTY
Bouton (real name Osgood Thormwell Cavanaugh VIII), is the
great-great-great grandson of the famous Osgood Whitney Cavanaugh VII (stage-name
Ol’ Dodger) who gained fame and fortune as Humphrey Bogart's dog in 'Casablanca'…*click all pics to enlarge
…and is the great-great-grandson of Osgood Stockton Cavanaugh
VI (stage-name Knickers) who stole the screen from Clark Gable in 'Gone with the
Wind':
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Bouton’s wild-child great grandfather, the infamous Osgood
Cromwell Cavanaugh V (stage–name Bruce) almost ruined the making of 'The Wizard
of Oz' when he rusted out 3 sets of Tin Man costumes by peeing on them, chewed
the tail off the costume of the Cowardly Lion and 2 pairs of Ruby Red shoes. He
was a heavy drinker and regularly vomited in the Straw Man’s feet.
He was
kicked off the set but stayed in the Hollywood circle by mating with Ching Ling the poodle
of studio mogul, Cecil B. Demille and producing a line of great dog actors,
culminating with our very own Bouton.
2) BOUTON IS 3RD COUSIN ONCE REMOVED FROM THE MEGA
CHILD DOGGY STAR B-I-N-G-0
On the outs since a mysterious pool party incident in Bouton’s Beverly Hills mansion, the cousins do not talk, but their agents are trying to
settle details for their joint acting venture in what is rumored to be a classic thriller called
H-Y-D-R-A-N-T.
3) BOUTON AUDITIONED FOR, AND WAS REJECTED FROM, 3 OTHER MAJOR
PARTS BEFORE WINNING THIS ROLE
Jon Snow knew one thing: he didn’t want Bouton.
It is said the white spray paint they used for Bouton to
play the white Direwolf 'Ghost', made actor Kit Harrington sneeze and break out in
hives. Bouton was ousted shortly after filming began.
He tried to be the Chihuahua in the low budget film 'Vintage
Vern And His Scottish Adventure' but was deemed too scary looking…
…and he took steroids and hired the iconic make-up artist
Flo Snodgrass, Hollywood Legend and dog lover, to help him become Murphy McHarald,
the buff, kilted Highland spy in the serial thriller 'Meaty Man Mysteries'…but was
deemed TOO meaty:
Finally, he resorted to shameless and extreme cuteness and his kilt trick and hair extensions did the trick to secure he role of a lifetime on Outlander:
*(which was fortuitous as he had already learned to speak with a Scottish accent
for the Meaty Many Mysteries audition)
4) BOUTON IS A MUSIC GENIUS
Drawing from his years of cello playing in London, Bouton created, choreographed and organized the album of the century: Dog Song: Music To Help Your Dog Go To Sleep:
It won the prestigious 'Best Schnauzer Snoozer' award 2 years running, making Bouton the hero of restless puppies everywhere. He also starred in and compiled
the youtube hit 'Ultimate Funny Dogs Compilation' where he dressed in costume for every single dog in
this clip…which is why he is called the Canine Eddie Murphy:
5) BOUTON IS A SOCIAL MEDIA HOUND
Kanye has had a twitter feud going on with Bouton
for months:
You can find Bouton on the net here:
6) 4 FAMOUS ACTORS ARE HOPING TO PLAY BOUTON IN THE NEXT NOVEL
ADAPTATION
Starz let leak the shocker that unlike the books by Diana
Gabaldon, director Ron Moore is making Bouton come to life as a real man after
lapping up the urine (following Claire's example) of a drunk wizard who left a strip-poker
party at Master Raymond's store late one night and peed on a lamp post. Bouton
morphs into a new character called Benjamin Buttonhole who becomes Jamie’s
right hand man as he can sniff out bullshit a mile away, and aids Jamie in knowing
who to trust. He also tries to have quickie dog-sex with every leg he sees, much to
the delight of Bonnie Prince Charles. *please vote for one of the above actor
by dialing
1-800-LEG-HUMP
**personally, I voted for Ewan!
**personally, I voted for Ewan!
7) HE IS A VICIOUS MANEATER
Seen here mauling the chest of his 4th prop, Bouton left 2 extras (human) in hospital before Starz decided to use
lifelike mannequins in the hospital scene.*No word about possible fatalities due to a recent gag order
by the Courts. Claire and Mother Hildegarde had to be CGI’d into the shot as
being too close to Bouton was too dangerous.
Even though his propensity
to lunge at throats is well known, producers needed an experienced and ‘cuddly’
dog for the role and chose to take a chance.
Bad choice.
Here he is, in a rabbit costume, in the deadly scene of the
Bunny Killer in Monty Python’s 'Holy Grail':
8) HIS ON-SET SEX SCANDALS HAVE HALTED PRODUCTION SEVERAL TIMES
Bouton is one sexy mutt. And so says his Hot-Mama of the Moment 'The White Sow' (seen here in her audition profile pic)…
…and Rollo:
Not just a shipping rumor, Bouton is said to prefer
blondes which has the heartsick Rollo (played by transgender dog star 'Kitty Le'Roo')
avoiding paparazzi and ducking in and out of therapy sessions with Talk Show Legend
turned Dog Whisperer, Oprah Winfrey.
**
PLEASE NOTE: some or all of the above article may be the product of an especially spicy bowl of homemade chili and should be read with one's sense of humor in the ON position.
