Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. I deal with the odd serious issue but for the most part, my posts are just some cheeky fun. You'll find satire with the odd parody tossed in....and most definitely a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.

I am Canadian so expect a bit of politeness too. Sorry.

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5) My old monthly column: The Lighter Side of Self Publishing

Sunday, November 28, 2010


*NOTE: If you don't know ABBA's hit song Waterloo, pass this entry by. You won't get it. (But I urge you to find it on YouTube immediately and become One with the Rest of The World).


Canada Writes offered a fun-type project once wherein they asked you to write new lyrics to the ever-famous Waterloo and give it a personal spin. I did just that and here is my creation. I must say, that I rather like my song much better. It's more...I don't know...meaty, I guess. Sing along and enjoy!

Original lyrics:
My, my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender
Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - Promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - Couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - Knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - Finally facing my Waterloo

My, my, I tried to hold you back but you were stronger
Oh yeah, and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight
And how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose
 My lyrics:
The scale! I cannot bear to look where I am standing
Two ten? That used to be the number of my locker but no more
My God... I’ve got so... much to lose
Can you... see if I’m... wearing shoes?

Middle age! Here it is knocking on my back door
Middle age! I’m finding hair where twern’t before
Middle age! Back is shot, where’s my pot, got a light?
Middle age! Total... denial... will make it right
Middle age! Haven’t got... energy... left to fight...

Before! I used to eat all day and never gain weight
But now! I gain a pound by looking at a picture of a cake
Forgive me for being so crass
But it all... seems to stick... to my ass!

(repeat chorus)

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