WHY THIS BLOG?

I AM PARCA'S CHOSEN:
Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. I deal with the odd serious issue but for the most part, my posts are just some cheeky fun, reviews of favorite shows, and true stories that will make you laugh out loud (or run screaming...I don't know you well enough to predict your behavior). You'll find satire with the odd parody tossed in....and most definitely a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.

I am Canadian so expect a bit of politeness too. Sorry.

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1) MY eBOOKS CAN BE FOUND ON AMAZON HERE:
DENISE ON AMAZON
2) MY eBook Trailers are on YOUTUBE
3) My website:denisesevierfries.com
4) My Photo-Art Youtube Trailer is here too.

5) My old monthly column: The Lighter Side of Self Publishing
6) Outlander Series Facebook forum: the popular book/tv series group I am admin on, is The BEST and BIGGEST with over 96,000+ members! Come join us! *click on bold red words

Sunday, August 13, 2017

OUTLANDER FRIENDSHIP TEST: be aware of who you befriend!

OUTLANDER FRIENDSHIP TEST
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LINK THIS 3-PART TEST TO ANY POTENTIAL 'FRIEND' AND IF THEY CAN PASS IT, PROOF OF THEIR BEING OUTLANDERNATED WILL BE CONFIRMED.
*if they fail, you may want to reconsider spending your time with them. I mean really...what would you talk about?


PART 1
3 BASIC MUST-KNOW QUESTIONS

1) WHO IS JAMIE?
a) a stable boy
b) a warrior Scotsman
c) a whorehouse bouncer

2) WHO IS CLAIRE?
a) a dockside harlot
b) a beautician
c) a Time Traveling doctor 

3) WHAT IS A LEGHAIR?
a) a stubbly leg infestation
b) a spoiled brat
c) the reason Claire almost got burned as a witch.

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PART 2
FINISH THIS SENTENCE:

DIANA GABALDON IS A....
a) wife 
b) writer
c) mother
d) doctor
e) creative genius
f) gravelly voiced sex goddess
g) all of the above

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PART 3
VISUAL RESPONSES

LOOK AT THE FOLLOWING PHOTOS AND CHOOSE AN APPROPRIATE ANSWER:

1) a) Ah! True love!
    b) I may vomit.



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2) a) Family ties bind are sacred and their devotion is inspiring.
    b) Dougal should invest in armour. 


                               ____________________________________________________


3) a) That necklace stole the scene!
    b) Murtagh sure loved her swans!

                                ___________________________________________________


4) a) There was no better wig maker in all of France!
    b) He was heads above the rest!



5) a) This scene after Jaime's cousin's wedding was sweet.
    b) His boots were made for more than walking.  

                                ___________________________________________________


6) a) The ladies traditionally gather every weekend to wash the church curtains.
    b) The ladies sure know how to pound the piss out of their laundry!




7) a) Look how green that foliage is! Lovely!
    b) *begin singing* "He's got the whole world, in his hands, he's got the whole wide world, in his hands..." *begin spontaneous multiple orgasms*



                               ____________________________________________________


8) a) Being a wife and mother was all she ever wanted.
    b) She should have a sign tattooed above her vagina that says 'Enter At Your Own Risk".


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9) a) They could not believe the size of King Louis's penis on his braggadocios statue atop the Palace staircase!
    b) 'Seeing red' does not always mean one is angry...


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10) a) The scene where Black Jack travels to 1948 and lands in a Macey's.
      b) His wife gets 'stoned' and HE ends up in the police station!


                           _________________________________________________________

11)  a) Waking up after dreaming she had been ridden harder than a rodeo bull on steroids by a redheaded virginal Scotsman.
       b) Waking up STILL wearing her belt and watch.

                         _________________________________________________________


12) a) A local nun trying out for The Von Trapp Family Singers.
      b) A healer who has a special friend with a nose for trouble.

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13) a) Claire finds a mole shaped like Australia, if Australia wore combat boots.
      b) Claire discovers that she likes kilts. And the steaming hot  hunks of manflesh that wear them.

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14) a) Claire's necklace was made from the bone of a white whale.
      b) This trinket is so beautiful...its to DIE for!

                           _______________________________________________________



15) a) Sam and Cait get together with Cait's parents for a fun evening.
      b) A crazy but happy Outlander family.

           Image result for outlander gifs


SCORE:
IF THE SCORE HIGHER THAN 100%, THEN YOU CAN SAFELY ACCEPT YOUR NEW OUTLANDER FRIEND.

IF THE SCORE IS ANY LOWER, YOU CAN ADVISE THIS PERSON TO READ/WATCH OUTLANDER AND COME BACK TO TRY AGAIN. 

AND TO BRING WHISKEY.
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2 comments:

  1. 😂 Sunday morn' & I can't stop laughing. The old catch phrase"thanks, I needed that ", applies. I'm in the midst of moving in with my sons family & things are going smoothly but it's completely different. I haven't had the time to sit & enjoy my FB satire & posts, as much as I would like. Thanks Denise for the fun reminder that it's time to take a moment to giggle, laugh & guffaw.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cheers Great-grandma! Happy to brighten your day! Good luck with your move...sounds perfect. Being around loved ones is always the best plan...

    ReplyDelete

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