A RESPONSE TO terrainmonkey ON HIS/HER BLOG 'KILTLANDER' (*I say his/her because the writer is another anonymous chickenshit hiding behind a fake name. Unless, of course, he/she really IS a monkey, then, I do apologize. In fact, that would explain a lot.)

After reading the post titled DEAR OBSESSED FAN- STOP IT ALREADY by terrainmonkey on his/her blog Kiltlander, the first thing that ran through my head was the Three Dog Night song ‘Mama Told Me Not To Come’:

  

Walk away Denise…don’t respond…don’t go there…it’s a waste of time and energy. You may regret it! Those were the words being whispered to me under that song.

But like all good advice given to me in my life, I will ignore it. Doing so has given me decades of pleasure and the scars to prove it.

What I find fascinating in terrainmonkey's post is th... just wait, I can’t write that inane moniker throughout this response so let me dub him/her ‘Hizzer’ (short for His/Her as he/she hides behind a wall of anonymity). That's better.

Okay. So. What I find fascinating in Hizzer’s piece, is that the irony of telling people to STOP doing things because they have no right to tell others what to do is completely lost on him/her. He/She starts off condemning fans who cross over the line of decency and go 'nuts', which I agree with..crazyassfans who go overboard need to seek therapy...but very quickly the bar at which Hizzer labels crazyass is lowered to include normal fan stuff like gossip, shipping etc...and it is there he/she lost me.

  

He/She tells them to (and I must paraphrase here as going back to that blog to get verbatim quotes would take too much drugs and booze to shield me from the stupidity of it, but I think I got the gist of it pretty spot on): 

- ‘shut up about Cait’s looks! She is a supermodel with a shitload of money and you probably look like shit so fuck off’

- ‘stop casting stones at Sam cuz he, like, ya know, donates to sick kids and you never even gave to the Salvation Army did you, you cheap jerk’

- ‘Hey Twitter Queen! Eat shit and die!

- 'YOU.DON’T. GET.TO.TELL.SAM.WHAT.TO DO.PERIOD.'   ̶O̶N̶L̶Y̶.̶I̶.̶G̶E̶T̶.̶T̶O̶.̶T̶E̶L̶L̶.̶E̶V̶E̶R̶Y̶O̶N̶E̶.̶W̶H̶A̶T̶ ̶T̶O̶.̶D̶O̶.̶A̶N̶D̶ ̶Y̶E̶L̶L̶.̶W̶H̶I̶L̶E̶.̶D̶O̶I̶N̶G̶.̶I̶T̶.̶ 
- All you stupid women out there, you Twitter Queens, STOP tweeting ‘good morning’ to Sam cuz he will NOT respond and you dumb twats are so obsessed with your imaginary boyfriend that you are looking for any crumb he drops and would die if he acknowledged you so just go away and get a life.’
- and finally, ‘You Shippers out there are pathetic. Sam and Cait are NOT a couple and they won’t have Bree babies so just piss off. They are not a couple so JUST STOP IT!’  

Again, this is just paraphrasing...the way I recall it, so go ahead and check for yourself if you're skeptical. *I rarely link others' blogs as it gives them more attention, but in this case, who cares. Go for it. You may agree with him/her! Many do, apparently. *sigh* Maybe I read differently than others...it could be a syndrome.
  
I am certain I could say more about the article but I don’t remember much more offhand…my mind automatically protects me from such drivel by jettisoning it out of my mind asap after reading it, so I cannot even paraphrase anymore. It’s gone. Floating down the river of Self-Righteousness I suppose, buoyed by judgmental sexism and opinionated arrogance.
  
I say sexism and not chauvinism because, right or wrong, I relate chauvinism to male behavior, and well, ‘Hizzer’ leaves me in doubt, so sexism is a sexless umbrella and therefore the more appropriate term. Why the label at all? Well, I didn't see the word King anywhere in a derisive way…just Queen. Looks to me like Hizzer, who somewhere hints at being male (can’t recall where but without a real name and suspended twitter account that might have held clues, that could be a red herring) could be a misogynist in sheep’s clothing. But then again, can’t women be misogynists too? Girl on Girl Hatred? Hmmm…tis a possibility. Ah well. Whatever. I smell woman-hate and it doesn’t matter where it comes from. 

Or maybe it’s gay-bashing? Calling people ‘Queens’ in such an ugly manner smacks of homophobia…unless Hizzer is gay and as a gay individual who uses that kind of language, feels comfortable saying it that way. Again…whatever. Unclear. But it reads like disrespect for women and that part IS clear. To me. *I may be alone in this opinion but that is a cross I bear now and then. It is as it is.

Oh…and near the end of the rant I recall Hizzer saying something about Outlander fans who do not act within the parameters of his/her Rules and Regulations are like a bunch of Annie Wilkes-like creatures (you know, the super-fan psycho from the movie ‘Mercy’).  Wow. Throw in a Hallelujah! and we'd have a new preacher in our midst! ‘Lordy Lordy Lord…Let my celebrities go! Bring Hail, Lightning and your Mighty Wrath onto those who won’t leave Sam and Cait alone!’

Hizzer says he/she is an actor/actress (this could be true…I saw Planet of the Apes) and so this qualifies him/her to be their spokesman? I dunno. I am asking. Anyone?

Bottom line for me is this: fans are fans and like all human beings, they range from good to bad, lovely to ugly, and brilliant to dull as a dry turd. I’ll wager most celebs know that if they make it big, they may get fans who run this gambit of adjectives and along with reaping in the tons of love, they will occasionally feel the point of a rather large dunce cap. It is part of their chosen profession and therefore life, and they take it in stride. I find it all quite fascinating. And I watch it in all its beauty and ugliness and shall not condemn others for their nature, unless they go flippyapeshit and become a physical threat or public nuisance, then I would say so and judge the fuck outta them for sure. But that is apples (stalkers) when we are talking oranges (fans). A whole new enchilada. A cupcake with a different icing.

Suddenly I feel peckish. *grin*

And now, for some odd reason the words of King Arthur come to mind: ‘Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!’. And no legs to stand on.

*speaking of Monty Python, they give the best advise to those who are obsessed with those who are obsessed: