"Offer your smile to The Fates and you shall feel less their Slave."~ DSF
WHY THIS BLOG?
I AM PARCA'S CHOSEN: My name is Denise Sevier-Fries (nee Buchy).
Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. Come here for some serious issues, but mainly just some cheeky fun; satire with the odd parody tossed in, and a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.
There has been a massive, worldwide search by Starz Outlander producer Ron Moore for an actor to play the role of 'Jamie's Ghost', and he was literally swamped with applications.
By request from Ron personally, I, as admin on the largest Outlander Facebook group 'OUTLANDER SERIES (OS click to come and join the fun!) will post the TOP 20 auditions sent in by hopeful ghosts looking for their big break.
To vote for YOUR favorite Jamie's Ghost on Twitter got to #JAMMFGhost or phone 1-800-GHOSTLANDER, extension 1743 and ask for Mimi. *regular readers will understand why Mimi is so important
THE AUDITIONS:
Kim Kardashian
Jim Carrey
Sir Alec Guiness
Betty White
Ghost of Christmas Past
Chris Rock
Rex Harrison
Neil Patrick Harris
Julian Assange
Conan O'Brien
Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks Call-Back (he is SO versatile!)
Danny DeVito
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Ellen
Yoda (Vader and Kenobi there for support)
John Cleese
Viggo Mortensen
The Duggar Kids
Jack Nicholson
AND MY PERSONAL CHOICE: Patrick Swayze 💗
Auditions are now closed and the lucky chosen ghost will be announced soon! Ghosts can be feisty, depending how they died, so, to ensure cooperation and the safety of all the main actors, Starz has hired a team of Paranormal Experts to deal with anything 'situations'...
Things are thinning over at Outlander STARZ, and it isn't the plot or Diana's patience.
Jamie is going bald!
Well, to be clear, it's Sam Heughan that is balding, not his character. Jamie seems to be having a record harvest of luscious locks. See the 2 pictures below for comparison:
"So what?" you may ask.
So what indeed.
I guess my issue is...why not let him go au-natural and BE bald, if that is what he is? Why the cover-up? Is it because the books have Jamie thick-haired, with waves of red testosterone flowing in the wind as he rides to save someone or something off in the distance? Is that it? They don't want to deviate from the books?
Excuse me for a minute. My best friend Ewan McGregor is over for tea and poppy seed crumpets. Let me ask him what he thinks about that...
Exactly my reaction as well.
So...if Starz are fine with deviations, and if Claire Randall Fraser can be 6 feet tall with blue eyes, a 16 yr olds ass and a few grey streaks, why can't Jamie age like many men do...and go bald? Sam has had to endure some fairly ugly wigs thus far and I would bet he'd love to burn them all. I know I would.
Is it that bald isn't sexy? Says who? This is 2017 people.... bald is badass! Let's see a few examples of some virile, sexy and manly men that don't need a melon-rug...
Sean Connery
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson
Patrick Stewart
Billy Zane
Graham McTavish
Andre Agassi
Yul Brynner
and the sexiest of all...my husband:
Don't you think then, that this is an opportunity?
Maybe this would be a good time to help make balding more accepted...as we still see stupid commercials that make it seems like an embarrassing and shameful thing that men should go through expensive and probably painful transplants to 'fix', or 'hide' like this dumbass commercial suggests:
Come on Sam! You have a Cause already, fighting weight and exercise issues...why not take on male pattern baldness?
I have a feeling a LOT of women, and men, would be affected and educated and swayed... and what a wonderful way to embrace an issue not often talked about!
Be brave! Be Jamie!
And if you can't be Jamie, be Willy The Groundskeeper! He is a bald Scotsman ya gotta love!
And that's all I have to say about that.
**
ADDED:
There seems to be a backlash from fans who balk at the thought of a bald older Jamie. I find that an amazing Double Standard! The cry of 'Jamie isn't bald in the books so NO WAY!' and 'God nooooooo! He has a lot of hair in the books...!' ring loud and clear, but Caitriona (who, as I said before, is very tall, very slim, blue-eyed and has the ass of a 16 yr old) looks nothing like BookClaire (who is short, golden-yellow eyed, buxom with a fine fat arse) but fans just say 'She looks fine...she makes a great Claire! Her looks don't matter because she portrays her perfectly!'.
Can we all say 'hypocrite'? Why can Cait play an '*imperfect' Claire but Sam not play an 'imperfect' Jamie? *imperfect for book-look-a-likes Although I agree that Cait should be given leeway to be herself and just ACT like Claire...I believe Sam should be given the same consideration. No glued on, uncomfortable, hot'n'sweaty wigs that look like electrocuted foxes for him....but good-looking natural Sam ACTING like Jamie.
The newly leaked 'THE MAKING OF S3: GEEZERLANDER' tapes are going viral and we have a copy! THESE ARE THE DELETED SCENES FROM VARIOUS EPISODES THAT RON WAS OBVIOULSY EXPERIMENTING WITH... *NOTE: Starz has countered this massive leak by posting them willy nilly all over YouTube, labeling them nonsense things like 'Elderly Couple Do Magic Tricks' or whatever just to throw people off, and they say it isn't Outlander at all...but WE know BETTER! You'll see Sam and Caitriona undergo amazing make-up applications that took hours to perfect, and body-shaping prosthetics were brilliantly manipulated to make them look natural and OH SO REAL! You will see them look quite different from tape to tape but this is only due to their experimenting with different looks/ages etc... And even though it will be hard to believe, I swear on the grave of my uncle's brother's sister's chiropractor's first cousin that these are authentic. But to be certain, I asked Diana to meet me for lunch and while we ate our quesadillas in a yellow submarine underwater in the West Edmonton Mall with her husband, their 6 dogs and their lawyer Bernie, she verified the following as THE true leaked tapes...and she was glad her fans will see how Off-Book the scripts were with Jamie and Claire traveling through The Stones, etc..., and why she worked so hard with Bernie to have these scenes deleted! Let's see what crazyass ideas Ron had...and how Jamie and Claire have wrestled Father Time in Season 3: 1) In their 60's, Jamie and Claire try something new after a dare from their grandkids. Yes, they wore Attends adult diapers:
2) Jamie and Claire are 'discovered' and do a commercial. Jamie is still nervous around the 'magic of technology 'and fumbles his lines ...
3) They keep their great sense of humour with the WOOGIE BOOGIE MAGIC PENNY TRICK:
4) Jamie & Claire do the BOOGIE WOOGIE! They go through The Stones and Live in The Netherlands in this episode...or it could be Belgium. Or The Bronx.
5) Here we see Jamie and Claire entertaining the folks at a 'New Age Cèilidh' after years of making beautiful music together...
6) Bree and Roger give Jamie and Claire a computer for a gift; this is them trying to figure out how to use it:
7) Jamie driving:
8) Claire enters 'Britain's Got Talent' with her grandson Ian 'Nico' Murray VI (who is 6'9' tall, and that is why Claire looks short): *NOTE: Jamie pops back stage after the show and boots Simon Cowell in the nutsack for condescendingly insulting his wife at the start of the show
*Note: Attends were called for here as well...but for the judges and audiences, not Claire
9) Similar to#5, this is Claire and Jamie trying to send their great-grand son Avigdor Spartacus MacKenzie (their parents are huge fans of 'The Bird Cage') a birthday picture online:
10) And finally, Starz pretended to up make a commercial out of this Geezerlander scene...but like I said before...WE know better:
SO? Whadyathink?
I thought they overdid the lipstick now and then but otherwise, my favorite look was this last one at the end... so J&C. How about you? Hope you enjoyed this contraband collection of tapes and please...keep it quiet! I don't want to get into trouble for showing you these. Thanks.
There are many songs that can make one immediately think of any Outlander characters, whether through the music, lyrics or title, but these songs say it best for me. If you think of any more, post them in the comment section below ...
**-**
BLACK JACK
Fuck You
Psycho Killer
JAMIE
Like A Virgin
Time In A Bottle
I Will Always Love You
CLAIRE
Torn Between Two Lovers
Band of Gold
Lady In Red
FRANK
Ain't NO Sunshine When She's Gone (yes, this is freakin' MmmmBop Hanson! 'Handsome' more like... the wee lads have grown up MIGHTY FINE!)
Every Time I See Your Picture
My Heart Will Go On
MRS GRAHAM
Dancing Queen
MURTAGH
All By Myself
One Is The Loneliest Number
Mr. Lonely:
LE COMTE
Poison
DOUGAL
Jimmy Crack Corn
Hard To Be Humble
Put Another Log On The Fire
LIZZIE AND THE BEARDSLEY TWINS
Let's Share
Too Young
GEILLIS
Black Widow
Witchy Woman
Evil Woman
ROGER
Son Of A Preacher Man
Like A Prayer
Clann An Drumma - Culloden (Scottish tribal drumming and bagpipes)
Whether you agree with how the Outlander novels have been adapted to the show, you have to give Starz and director Ron Moore credit for adapting to The Moment. Translating a scene from page to screen is difficult at best, but being creative and spontaneous has helped Moore and company make their vision/version an 'on-budget' reality that entertains. No small feat. Here are 10 'Seizing The Moment' moments that are clever and worthy of tipping of our hats: as always, click pic to enlarge
2) The Outlander Crew Parties are Legend. And on Film...sorta.
If you look closely at this shot of Claire walking through the battlefield, you will see she has actually been added in with CGI technology. The infamous cast and crew PTYP parties(Party Till You Puke) made a cost efficient battlefield scene for Moore as he simply waited until nightfall after a long days shooting, and filmed the crew passed out all over the field behind the trailers where they live while working. As they habitually dress up in Outlander costumes while drinking (everyone wants to wear a kilt), Moore didn't have to worry about the 'bodies' looking out of their era.
Anyone found asleep in their chairs were gently placed in a supine or prone position on the ground and all bottles were carefully replaced with a soft, fake sword. (*early use of real swords proved rather dangerous and resulted in too many cut lips)
3) Outlander Book Fans Never Clean Their Houses.
In scene like the one above with Bree and Roger wading through a messy pile of junk and old Must Keeps, Starz saves on location fees and set design by running contests for fans with the messiest homes, wherein the winner gets to have their room made into a set for the day/week for filming. Book fans (and many show fans who re-watch episodes every day on a loop for hours on end) are famous for not having time to both do housecleaning AND being an Outlander fan, so they can now try and be a part of Outlander history. If you want to enter the 'HOUSEKEEPING SUCKS SASSENACH!' contests, call toll free, Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. here: 1-800-JAMIE-AWAITS 4)Ron Moore Based Much of Season 3 on 'Scottish Ninjas'.
It's his favorite cartoon. Nuff said. 5) Tobias Hates Fruit. (except one: see why here: peaches #8)
Pre CGI manipulation
Post CGI manipulation
When an unsuspecting extra brought Tobias a fruit bowl at break, Moore caught Tobias' furious reaction and used CGI technology to remove the fruit for the gloriously explosive scene. No extras and only one apple was hurt during this scene. 6) Professional Make-up Artists are Very Expensive, So They are Not Hired.
Wherever battle/crowd filming is taking place, ads are placed in local papers asking for artists and fans with painting/make-up skills to apply for the chance to 'Paint Sam' (or Paint Graham, or Paint Tobias, etc...as is needed). Typically, there are between 80 to 3380 applicants, depending on the size of the village/town/city on or near the shooting location. Only three are hired per location and they only have to pay Starz $20.00 per hour each for the privilege (note: painting Sam costs the lucky artist $20.00 per hour but is less as one goes down the cast list, $2.50 being the lowest for painting anonymous clansmen. *FACT: nobody is allowed to paint Tobias as Black Jack, after one woman tried to stab him in the eye with a eyebrow pencil. He does his own make up now.
7) Hate Can Be Profitable. And Pretty.
To ease the escalating cost of production, there is a new line of 'OUTLANDER FUCK THEM JEWELRY out for passionate fans:
There is an extra large batch of Fuck Leghair necklaces being made to accommodate the expected influx of orders from the awesome Outlander Series group I am admin of on FaceBook (come join us...clickhere). We do hate us some Leghair...
8)Pictures are Worth a Thousand Words, and Perhaps Millions of Dollars.
I am NOT saying this was leaked from a safe at Starz headquarters.
I am NOT saying Raymond Einstein is real.
I am NOT saying Diana actually wrote a non-fiction.
I am NOT saying that this could be Top Secret info that could get me in trouble.
I ain't sayin' shit.
9) Learning Gaelic by Osmosis
It is a proven fact that babies can learn a language by simply being around it for large periods of time, so, as a bonus to any paid worker on the Outlander sets, their babies (newborn to 9 months) are allowed to sit in their prams (as seen here in a season 3 still in Glasgow, Scotland) and soak in the language...literally.
To date, no less than 7 OB (Outlander Babies) are fluent in Gaelic after 2 seasons worth of on-set live Gaelic osmosis. However, 1 wee lad cannot speak any English at all now, so he is being planted on the set of Game of Thrones.
10) Time Travel stories can Have Awfully Flexible TimeLines and Potential for OffShoot Stories. #sponsormoney
Caitriona Balfe is a good actress with a face and temperament made for adventure. Why not take advantage of it? These pictures are the newly released 'prequels' to Outlander called 'BEFORE JAMIE: Claire's Adventures Before She Finally Hit Scotland'. They are 15 minute segments that will be seen just after The Skyboat Song and just before the episode of the hour. These are a few of them...
*PLEASE NOTE: if you are a human living on earth, you should know that this entire blog piece is untrue. Just having fun...ha ha. If you are an invading alien with one or more laser-type weapons, then this piece is still untrue, except the Time Traveling part. That part is true and you will not find me, so stop looking. I am not hiding. I am long goooooooooone...
