OUTLANDER FRIENDSHIP TEST: be aware of who you befriend!

OUTLANDER FRIENDSHIP TEST

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LINK THIS 3-PART TEST TO ANY POTENTIAL 'FRIEND' AND IF THEY CAN PASS IT, PROOF OF THEIR BEING OUTLANDERNATED WILL BE CONFIRMED.

*if they fail, you may want to reconsider spending your time with them. I mean really, what would you talk about?

PART 1

3 BASIC MUST-KNOW QUESTIONS

1) WHO IS JAMIE?

a) a stable boy

b) a warrior Scotsman

c) a whorehouse bouncer

2) WHO IS CLAIRE?

a) a dockside harlot

b) a beautician

c) a Time Traveling doctor 

3) WHAT IS A LEGHAIR?

a) a stubbly leg infestation

b) a spoiled brat

c) the reason Claire almost got burned as a witch.

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PART 2

FINISH THIS SENTENCE:

DIANA GABALDON IS A....

a) wife 

b) writer

c) mother

d) doctor

e) creative genius

f) gravelly voiced sex goddess

g) all of the above

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PART 3

VISUAL RESPONSES

LOOK AT THE FOLLOWING PHOTOS AND CHOOSE AN APPROPRIATE ANSWER:

1) a) Ah! True love!

    b) I may vomit.

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2) a) Family ties bind are sacred and their devotion is inspiring.

    b) Dougal should invest in armour. 

                               ____________________________________________________

3) a) That necklace stole the scene!

    b) Murtagh sure loved her lovely swans!

                                ___________________________________________________

4) a) There was no better wig maker in all of France or the world!

    b) He was heads above the rest!

5) a) This scene after Jaime's cousin's wedding was sweet.

    b) His boots were made for more than walking.  

                                ___________________________________________________

6) a) The ladies traditionally gather every weekend to wash the church curtains.

    b) The ladies sure know how to pound the piss out of their laundry!

7) a) Look how green that foliage is! Lovely!

    b) *begin singing* "He's got the whole world, in his hands, he's got the whole wide world, in his hands..." *begin spontaneous multiple orgasms*

                               ____________________________________________________

8) a) Being a wife and mother was all she ever wanted.

    b) She should have a sign tattooed above her vagina that says 'Enter At Your Own Risk".

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9) a) They could not believe the size of King Louis's penis on his braggadocios statue atop the Palace staircase!

    b) 'Seeing red' does not always mean one is angry...

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10) a) The scene where Black Jack travels to 1948 and lands in a Macey's.

      b) His wife gets 'stoned' and HE ends up in the police station!

                           _________________________________________________________

11)  a) Waking up after dreaming she had been ridden harder than a rodeo bull on steroids by a redheaded virginal Scotsman.

       b) Waking up STILL wearing her belt and watch.

                         _________________________________________________________

12) a) A local nun trying out for The Von Trapp Family Singers.

      b) A healer who has a special friend with a nose for trouble.

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13) a) Claire finds a mole shaped like Australia, if Australia wore combat boots.

      b) Claire discovers that she likes kilts. And the steaming hot  hunks of manflesh that wear them.

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14) a) Claire's necklace was made from the bone of a white whale.

      b) This trinket is so beautiful...its to DIE for!

                           _______________________________________________________

15) a) Sam and Cait get together with Cait's parents for a fun evening.

      b) A crazy but happy Outlander family.

          

SCORE:

IF THE SCORE HIGHER THAN 100%, THEN YOU CAN SAFELY ACCEPT YOUR NEW OUTLANDER FRIEND.

IF THE SCORE IS ANY LOWER, YOU CAN ADVISE THIS PERSON TO READ/WATCH OUTLANDER AND COME BACK TO TRY AGAIN. 

AND TO BRING WHISKEY.

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ELEVENTEEN

The birth of a story.

One night while tucking my youngest child in bed, we went through our usual routine of bedtime stories, hugs, kisses, etc…and when I was leaving the room, she called to me and said, “Mama, I love you SO much!”

For fun, I replied, “How much is so much?” and she began to count off on her wee fingers,

“I love you 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 9, 13, 11-teen!”

It was one of those flash-freeze moments that tattoo themselves permanently to your heart. I think every mother has a moment or ten like that for each of their kids held safe inside and it keeps us warm. I remember thinking to myself as I shut off her light and walked out the door, that if I had to write a test to get into Heaven, this would be one of the questions. Proof my life was well-lived and well-loved.

So the premise of my little book was born and I wrote it way back in 2003, and not knowing who would publish or buy a non-denominational story about Heaven, love and children, it has been gathering dust on a shelf ever since.

But now, with the advent of ebooks and Smashwords publishing, I have put it for sale online and hope it takes flight.

Here is the link and the descriptions…I hope you help to spread the word!

Short description

You will have to write a test to get into Heaven. Who knew? And you have to have a perfect score! What is the Key to writing this test? Tad Carson hadn't a clue. He didn't even know where he was or what to do. But God knew the answers. And Tad found out. So will you. This is a story of Faith, Love, and Heaven. It is a story for the whole family, about family. A small book with a big message.

Extended description

Tad Carson is a man who has discovered that he must write a test to enter into The Kingdom of Heaven…and he needs a perfect score! As unlikely as it seems, it is very easy to pass and he is not the only one who has to take it. Certain people will find it a joy to write, and others will find it a burden and a condemnation. Do you know the Key to Salvation? If you are a parent or guardian, you might be judged by a different standard than others.

Sometimes it is the little things in life that matter the most.

This man's Final Journey may be the one that helps you with yours.