Dear Vanity Fair,
I may be the lone voice of reason in the entire Outlander Fandom, but
I offer you my support in regards to the recent Outlander review by Joanna
Robinson 'Does The New Outlander Series Have What It Takes To Be More Than A Bodice-Ripper?'
that has gone more virile than a Scotsman in a see-through kilt. Or is that
viral? Nevertheless, I am offering my 2 phased-out Canadian cents worth to the discussion.
I for one agree 100% with Joanna Robinson (may I call her JoRo?) and
would ask your undecided readers to not judge her article based on the rabid frothing
slathered upon the comments pages of various papers and forums that actually require
rabies shots after having read them.
Let’s look at the facts, which will dispel all criticisms of
your well-respected writer/journalist who is a professional and hardly one to
toss up an opinion piece based on shallow research and one-liner catchphrases
plucked from an online generator.
First of all, Outlander is INDEED a bodice ripper! Why deny
it? The definition (that I did not make up but found on a probably legit website)
states: “Bodice rippers are strictly formulaic and the plot usually involves a
vulnerable heroine faced with a richer and more powerful male character, whom
she initially dislikes. It is virtually obligatory for the cover
picture to show the swooning, ample-bosomed heroine.”
Each point is spot-on Outlander! It is so formulaic that it
is schlepped solely as a romance. Unless you find it in the historical
fiction section of your library…or shelved in
the fantasy, sci-fi, gay and lesbian, and/or mystery and thriller sections as well,
but the point I am trying to make here is that it is absolutely formulaic!
And
there is no heroine as vulnerable as the wimpy Claire Beauchamp: does she fend off a pack of wolves outside
Wentworth Prison by herself? Well yea, but only for a few hours until she has a big hairy
Scotsman help her …and she only kills one wolf herself! And her reputation as
being fearless, headstrong, independent and a highly intelligent doctor/nurse is hardly
evidence of her fortitude and self-reliance, as they are simply band-aid traits
that cover her need for a burly he-man to help her survive. It is that obvious to anyone
with eyes.
And the fact that she seems to like the young damaged warrior (Jamie) she treats upon their first meeting does not cover the fact that she dislikes
the position she finds herself in and therefore, by association, she dislikes
Jamie, the man who soon afterwards, lustfully rips her bodice to shreds…well long strips actually
that he then braids into macramé pot holders that he uses when he eventually
bakes haggis for his men at Lollybroch. It is important to remember facts so
one may debate with at least a modicum of credibility. That much I have learned
from JoRo.
And as far as the Outlander book covers go, well, the
colorful pictures of a topless and buxom Scarlet O’Hara swooning into the hairy
chested and mustachioed Rhett Butler solidifies the series as a trashy pseudo-pornographic set that would make Charlie Sheen blush.
Next, I especially concur with the ‘50 Shades of Plaid’
reference. After all plaid is the color of the …no wait, plaid is a cloth and tartan is the color…but nevertheless,
the point is that there are at least 50 shades of various clan kilts in the
story and it had to be said. Gratuitous
kilt scenes riddle the books and show, and when
Frodo rips his off and slides into the hallway playing the air guitar while his
parents are away…well, shenanigans the likes of which Mount Doom has never seen
ensues. That is 50 shades of risky business my friends.
Finally, let’s address the elephant in the room, shall we?
What everyone knows, but only JoRo had the balls big enough to say, is that men do not like watching love stories. No real man will sit through a TV series geared towards princesses
who are waiting for their prince, shivering and alone, all vulnerable-like in their ice palaces singing about how they
should all just let it go. The seven little people working in the diamond mine
and whistling while they work may be a bit endearing, but JoRo is right to say
that the poison apple and true love's kiss is simply far too politically
incorrect and may only serve to anger the environmentalists and Apple Pickers
of America who will suffer for this insult. I may be paraphrasing.
Bottom line: A well-researched opinion piece is a gem and since
one cannot just grab scenes from mid-air and treat them like they are fact, one
should always just read and learn from the pros like JoRo. They can be trusted. No
credible magazine would Fair well otherwise. I hope my letter helps anyone who needed the facts
straight up.
I have a headache now and must rest.
Na Noo Na Noo.
Denise Sevier-Fries
